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   Old Thread  #1836 12 Jun 2013 at 5.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!

"You need to use 'Grown-Up' words," she was always reminding them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.

"I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Grown-Up' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done.

"I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Grown-Up' words." She then asked little Alec what he had done.

"I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, "Winnie the SH1T.
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   Old Thread  #1835 9 Jun 2013 at 5.57pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The Incredible Hulk has just text me a picture of a cucumber


I think....?
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   Old Thread  #1834 8 Jun 2013 at 9.03pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1833
They all do the full circle in the end......

Probably suppressible these days.

Doesn't need it now does it.....
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   Old Thread  #1833 8 Jun 2013 at 6.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1824
That one dates back to my teenage years...and I am now well old!

In my youth we would tell it in the voice of a fella with a cleft pallet.

"Worth!" he replies. "There I am, clinging to the window ledgth, freething cold, nothing on, covered in pith, when all of a thudden her husband thez he needs a thit. So he comths up to the window and thits out of it....all over me!"

etc. etc.

"Yeth, but when I looked down I wath only sith inthes off the gwound."

Probably suppressible these days.
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   Old Thread  #1832 8 Jun 2013 at 6.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I farted on the bus today and 4 people turned around................................I felt like I was on The Voice.
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   Old Thread  #1831 8 Jun 2013 at 2.20pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1830 8 Jun 2013 at 2.17pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1829 8 Jun 2013 at 10.32am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Dear Deidre....I was was watching my next door neighbours daughter sunbathing topless the other day from my bedroom window....while I was ****ing I turned to notice my wife just standing there arms folded watching me...Is she a pervert??
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   Old Thread  #1828 8 Jun 2013 at 10.28am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A large couple tumbled into the pub I work at and sat down in the restaurant. They'd clearly been to several other pubs this evening. I went over to their table to take their order.

"I'll have a cheeseburger with chips and a large glass of Pinot".

"I'm sorry, madam", I replied, "I'm afraid you've clearly had enough this evening, and I'm not going to be able to serve you"

"This is absurd!" exclaimed the man, as he jumped up from his seat "I think you'll find we've not had a drink all night, you imbecile".

"I think you'll find I was talking about the food, you fat ****".
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   Old Thread  #1827 7 Jun 2013 at 5.33pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1826 7 Jun 2013 at 5.33pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1825 7 Jun 2013 at 8.41am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I walked in on my son masturbating the other day.

'You shouldn't w@nk too often!' I shouted 'You'll go blind!'

'Erm, Dad I'm over here.' He replied
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   Old Thread  #1824 7 Jun 2013 at 8.39am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1823 7 Jun 2013 at 8.28am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife came home and told me she just made 901 sucking several cocks.

Me: Who the hell gave you the 1 pound?

My wife: They all did.
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   Old Thread  #1822 7 Jun 2013 at 7.56am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1817
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