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   Old Thread  #1916 15 Jul 2013 at 9.18pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1909
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   Old Thread  #1915 15 Jul 2013 at 7.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1914
gud un
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   Old Thread  #1914 15 Jul 2013 at 6.10pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What's white and works in Mc donalds?





The fridge.
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   Old Thread  #1913 15 Jul 2013 at 6.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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liking that one ian
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   Old Thread  #1912 15 Jul 2013 at 10.47am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The mrs buys a vibrator and it's seen as a bit of naughty fun.



But when i get a 360 volt F**kmaster pro blow up doll with a pulsating pussy, elasticized anus with a semen collection tray and an optional built in screaming orgasm surround system..i'm called a pervert.
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   Old Thread  #1911 14 Jul 2013 at 10.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1910 14 Jul 2013 at 10.19pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1901


and post 1909 , spot on
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   Old Thread  #1909 14 Jul 2013 at 7.10pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A bloke brings his mate home after work to meet his wife.His wife screams "You ******* dickhead,my hair and makeup are a mess,the house is a right ******* tip,the dishes aren't done,i'm still in my pyjamas,i can't be bothered to cook and it's my time of the month".
"Why the **** did you bring him home?" The husband replies "because he was thinking of getting married.
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   Old Thread  #1908 14 Jul 2013 at 7.02pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
odds on being next to pick up the ashes
England 6/4 ,
Aussies 3/1,
Winnie Mandela 1/3.
Sheryl Gascoigne 4/5
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   Old Thread  #1907 14 Jul 2013 at 6.56pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The Doctor put my wife on a new pill and now we have sex every night! doesn't matter what position we are in,nothing wakes her....
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   Old Thread  #1906 14 Jul 2013 at 6.52pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1905 12 Jul 2013 at 8.31am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Sad to read that the creator of classic party game Twister has died. Top bloke and will always be remembered fpr giving me the chance to see my auntie's cock
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   Old Thread  #1904 11 Jul 2013 at 7.16pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
"Hi, I'm Jane," she said.

"I'm Ian ," I replied, "but everyone calls me Dick for short."

"How do you get Dick from Ian?" she asked.

" as you asked nicely," I said.
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   Old Thread  #1903 11 Jul 2013 at 5.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Ramadan Diaries
Monday - didn't wash
Tuesday - didn't wash
Wednesday - didn't wash
Thursday - didn't wash
Friday - didn't wash
Saturday - bought rucksack
Sunday - won't need to wash.
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   Old Thread  #1902 11 Jul 2013 at 3.04pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1901
Who says the Scotts are Tight?

A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform,

marches into a pharmacy.

Very carefully he opens his sporran

and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, then

unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief,

which he also unfolds -

to reveal a condom.

The condom has a number of patches on it.

The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.

"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.

"Six pence" says the chemist.

"How much for a new one?"

"Ten pence" says the chemist.

The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the

silk square handkerchief

and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran,

and marches out of the door,

shoulders back and kilt swinging.

A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside,

followed by an even greater shout.

The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists

and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.

"The regiment has taken a vote," he says.

“We'll have a new one
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