CarpForum - Fishing Forum
  Already registered? [Log-In]  New user? [Register]

Want 11,000+ anglers a day to see your product or service?  Click HERE to see how
Home Who's Online Member List Gallery Downloads Fish Ins Weather
Rules / Usage Help / FAQs Search Articles The Carp Shop
  New Posts: 0
   Joke Thread
 [Log-In]  [Register] 
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #2019 23 Nov 2013 at 9.35pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was in the pub the other night telling a group of girls I could arse read.I explained it was a bit like palm reading,but I needed to stick my finger up their ******** to do it.Within 5 mins I was with a blonde in the toilet cubicle,knuckle deep. "Right,let's see"I said,having a poke,"for a start,I can tell you're very ******* gullible".
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #2018 23 Nov 2013 at 9.27pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My mate went to get a tattoo of an Indian on his back.Half way through he said to the bloke,don't forget to put the tomahawk in his hand.The bloke said give us a ******* chance mate I've only just finished his turban.
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #2017 23 Nov 2013 at 9.19pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2016

Wasn't there a Asian involved in that joke Jim
jimmyAd is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of jimmyAd (Jim)
Contact details supplied to MODs
jimmyAd
Posts: 8711
   Old Thread  #2016 23 Nov 2013 at 5.11am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
there was a nasty incident at the Nestles factory today when a worker was trapped under a consignment of chocolate bars....every time he shouted " the milky bars are on me " everyone cheered
ralph69 has used site within the last 10 mins
View the profile of ralph69 (John)
Contact details supplied to MODs
ralph69
Posts: 10049
   Old Thread  #2015 23 Nov 2013 at 2.28am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2014
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #2014 21 Nov 2013 at 5.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The Filipino government have thanked the British Govt for the rescue dogs they sent out after the hurricane.They said they were delicious.
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #2013 21 Nov 2013 at 5.25pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I thought I'd give the post lady a surprise this morning.So I sneaked up to the door naked and flopped my cock through they letterbox.Don't know what surprised her more,my cock in the letterbox,or the fact I knew where she lived
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #2012 21 Nov 2013 at 5.20pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I have attention deficit disorder. I get distracted easily my head........SHOULDERS,KNEES AND TOES,KNEES AND TOES
carpy09 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of carpy09 (Chris)
Contact details supplied to MODs
carpy09
Posts: 12455
   Old Thread  #2011 9 Nov 2013 at 8.12pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2010
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #2010 7 Nov 2013 at 4.40pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife banged on the toilet door and said "hurry up I need a **** " **** off," I shouted
"I'm trying to have a w**k in here" "so that's more important than diarrhoea" she screamed.
I yelled through the door "I'm just about to come for **** sake,just wait a few moments
Will you" What a impatient,big mouthed gob***** she is.God knows what everyone on the
Plane must have thought....!!
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #2009 7 Nov 2013 at 2.27pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My mate has 10 65" BLACK LED TVs for sale for 400 each.
If you want one,let me know asap.heres the link of the same model
At Currys worth 4500

htpp://bit.ly/IFRXA8
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #2008 6 Nov 2013 at 5.40pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A cockney and a scouser go into gregg's.the scouser steals 3 pasties and puts them in his pocket,then boasts to the cockney "did you see that? The staff never saw me."
The cockney says "that's nothing! Watch this"and goes into the shop.
He says to the manager,"give me 3 pasties and i'll show you some magic."
He eats them all and the manager says,"How is that magic?"
The cockney replied, "check that scouser's pocket"!!
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #2007 6 Nov 2013 at 5.29pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A fossil of a human jawbone was recently found that was believed to be over 10,000,000 years old.
scientists knew that it belonged to a woman as it was still moving.
LeeRoyston is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of LeeRoyston (Lee)
LeeRoyston
Posts: 60
   Old Thread  #2006 4 Nov 2013 at 9.33pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My boss gave me a 4m roll of buble wrap so i asked what he would like me to do with it.
He said 'pop it in the corner'
It took me 4 bloody hours!
ralph69 has used site within the last 10 mins
View the profile of ralph69 (John)
Contact details supplied to MODs
ralph69
Posts: 10049
   Old Thread  #2005 4 Nov 2013 at 4.52pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2002
Page: 43.6666666666667 of 178  
  
   Copyright 2002-2020  -  www.CarpForum.co.uk contact : webmaster@carpforum.co.uk