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   Old Thread  #2620 23 Dec 2018 at 7.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Skeleton goes into a bar, orders a pint of lager and a mop.
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   Old Thread  #2619 19 Dec 2018 at 8.36am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2618
A warning to all be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and Police are out there checking on people.
Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many beers and then went onto the shots Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my van at the pub and took a taxi home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a taxi they just waved it past.
I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a taxi before and I am not even sure where I got it from..
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   Old Thread  #2618 18 Dec 2018 at 6.46pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Went to the doctors the other day , he told me to take up a hobby that gets me out of the pub ,
So I started smoking again
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   Old Thread  #2617 12 Dec 2018 at 8.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2615
10 Pinter that

What’s the most popular owl in the world?

Tea towel


Why do they call pirates, pirates?

Cause they Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: "What have you brought?" He said: "I brought a pair of knickers." They asked: "What has that got to do with Christmas?" He said "They're Carol's."

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   Old Thread  #2616 1 Dec 2018 at 9.29pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2615
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   Old Thread  #2615 1 Dec 2018 at 9.11pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My son said to me ‘what rhymes with orange’. I said ‘it doesn’t’.
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   Old Thread  #2614 24 Nov 2018 at 5.41pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2613

Tampax have announced that they are to replace the string with tinsel, but only for the Christmas period.
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   Old Thread  #2613 19 Nov 2018 at 5.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Was late the other day on my way to work. Got stuck behind a tractor as the driver was shouting ‘the end of the world is coming, the end of the world is coming, the end of the world is nigh’. I think it was farmer Geddon.
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   Old Thread  #2612 22 Oct 2018 at 7.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2611
Son- Dad why is my sister called Teresa
Dad- Because you’re mum loves Easter - it’s an anagram
Son- Thanks Dad
Dad- No problem Alan
🥊🥊
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   Old Thread  #2611 10 Oct 2018 at 10.31pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2610


I’m here all week...
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   Old Thread  #2610 9 Oct 2018 at 10.27pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Now that's better .
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   Old Thread  #2609 9 Oct 2018 at 8.51am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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The letter ‘u’ would appropriately fit in there somewhere.
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   Old Thread  #2608 1 Oct 2018 at 11.52pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Hmmm
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   Old Thread  #2607 23 Sept 2018 at 10.23pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What goes in and out and stinks of p155?.















Your grandparents doing the Hokey Cokey.
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   Old Thread  #2606 23 Sept 2018 at 11.19am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2605
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