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   Old Thread  #2590 15 Apr 2018 at 3.42am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
*****s are like ****ing kebabs , you only wanna eat one when you're ****ing piss3d
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   Old Thread  #2589 22 Mar 2018 at 7.52am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2587
Mate of mine has just got a job at a funeral directors.
He ran up to the owner and said "Hey Boss, that little old lady over there has got a prawn sticking out from between her legs".
The boss went to have a look and said "You stupid sod, that's her clitoris".
"Well it tasted like a prawn" he said.

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   Old Thread  #2588 15 Mar 2018 at 5.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The old Guy went for his annual check-up. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the toilet during the night, then said: I must be blessed, God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm finished", later that day, the doc called the old guys wife and said: "his test results were fine, but he claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the toilet at night,”
wife said “the silly old sod, he’s been peeing in the fridge again”.
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   Old Thread  #2587 25 Feb 2018 at 11.56am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2586 24 Feb 2018 at 7.14pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Got back from the lake the other day and found my wife in bed with my best friend..
Obviously I kicked her out, I'm not going to stand for it! As for my best friend I sat down with him, looked him straight in the eyes and said 'bad dog'
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   Old Thread  #2585 11 Feb 2018 at 0.23am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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My therapist told me that a good way to let go of my anger was to write letters to the people I hate and to burn them.

I did that, and the hereapists suggestion was right, I do feel a lot better.

But now I am wondering if I should I keep the letters?


Tel
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   Old Thread  #2584 31 Jan 2018 at 2.32pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I arrived at the bus stop the other day to find a rather plump lady waiting.
"When's it due"? I asked.
"I'm not pregnant you cheeky git" she replied.
"I meant the bus you fat c*nt" I said.
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   Old Thread  #2583 30 Jan 2018 at 11.17pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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A priest was called to perform an exorcism on a chicken coop.
He managed to rid it of a poultrygeist.

Tel
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   Old Thread  #2582 30 Jan 2018 at 11.12pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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A friend’s wife asked him what he was doing today.
“Nothing planned” was his reply.
She then reminded him that he had done nothing the previous day.
Quick as a flash he came back with.
“I know. I haven’t finished yet”

Tel
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   Old Thread  #2581 14 Jan 2018 at 7.35pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
guy goes into the clinic says "I've got a strawberry up my arse" Doc says I've got some cream for that.
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   Old Thread  #2580 5 Jan 2018 at 7.17am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2577
Bill & Ben lying in bed.
Bill says "Flibber, flobba, flibber flobba"
Ben says "If you loved me, you'd swallow that"

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   Old Thread  #2579 21 Dec 2017 at 7.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2578 19 Dec 2017 at 12.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!”
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   Old Thread  #2577 26 Oct 2017 at 10.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2576

Tel
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   Old Thread  #2576 26 Oct 2017 at 8.06pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2575
It's hard to find any good chemistry jokes anymore
All the best Argon
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