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   Old Thread  #2340 6 Nov 2015 at 7.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2339
Got felt up by a blind woman last night. She said I had the thickest, longest shaft she'd ever felt.

She was pulling my leg
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   Old Thread  #2339 6 Nov 2015 at 6.34pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I've woke myself up three times this week with my snoring ,
So **** it , tonight I'm gonna go sleep in the spare room
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   Old Thread  #2338 31 Oct 2015 at 9.13am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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So Jurgen Klopp has finally got his first win at Liverpool.
Apparently it was due to a motivational text from his older brother clippity.
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   Old Thread  #2337 22 Oct 2015 at 4.44pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Screen Shot 2015-10-22 at 15.58.51 copy
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   Old Thread  #2336 30 Sept 2015 at 9.37pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A woman knocked at our door and said she was
collecting for the new swimming pool so I gave her a bucket of water.
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   Old Thread  #2335 24 Sept 2015 at 8.17pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Like it
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   Old Thread  #2334 24 Sept 2015 at 8.11pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Reminds me of
"Dad, there's a bloke at the door with a bald head"
"Tell him to piss off I've got one"
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   Old Thread  #2333 24 Sept 2015 at 1.37pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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My daughter said to me earlier "dad , there's someone knocking at the door with a beard ".
I said " well no wonder I couldn't bloody hear it then " .
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   Old Thread  #2332 23 Sept 2015 at 6.19pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Teacher......who can tell me what chickens give you?
Sarah.........meat miss.
teacher......correct, now can you tell me what pigs give you?
Jane...........bacon miss
teacher.......that's right, who can tell me what fat cow gives you?
Billie...........homework
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   Old Thread  #2331 21 Sept 2015 at 8.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2330
Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

Because he's married.
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   Old Thread  #2330 20 Sept 2015 at 9.31pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I love f5, it's so refreshing
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   Old Thread  #2329 11 Sept 2015 at 6.18am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2328 10 Sept 2015 at 8.34pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Came home hammered the other night and was stumbling around at the bottom of the stairs making a right racket. "What the hell is going on?" Shouts the wife from the bedroom. "I'm trying to get a barrel of beer up the stairs" I replied. "Leave it downstairs you dozy ****" She says."I cant" Says I."I've drunk it"
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   Old Thread  #2327 9 Sept 2015 at 8.42pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2326
Even more valuable lesson learned today.......
Don't keep ralgex and anusol next to each other
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   Old Thread  #2326 8 Sept 2015 at 9.35pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Valuable lesson learned this morning ,"...........
Don't keep anusol and Colgate on the same shelf
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