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   Old Thread  #54 16 Mar 2012 at 10.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #52
your joke is sick mate
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   Old Thread  #53 16 Mar 2012 at 9.08pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Took the wife dogging last night.. Never again by the time she finžshed parking everyone else had ****ed off.
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   Old Thread  #52 15 Mar 2012 at 8.01pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Message Suppressed by Forum Moderator.
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   Old Thread  #51 15 Mar 2012 at 7.42pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I stopped my car beside a prostitute last night.

As she got in I asked, "How much for a blow job?"

She said, "Thirty quid."

I said, "Can you do twenty?"

"Yeah, okay" she replied.

I said, "Great, here's £600 then."
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   Old Thread  #50 13 Mar 2012 at 6.17pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My doctor was checking my balls for any lumps the other day.

It got awkward when I ran my fingers through his hair.
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   Old Thread  #49 11 Mar 2012 at 2.29pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was chatting to the girl sitting next to me on the train this morning.For some reason, I couldn't understand a single word that was coming out of her tits
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   Old Thread  #48 11 Mar 2012 at 2.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A new sex study shows the 'doggie style' position is the most used by married couples . Husband sits up and begs. Wife rolls over and plays dead
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   Old Thread  #47 11 Mar 2012 at 2.27pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
This big girl walked over to me at the bar, lifted her leg up onto my stool and seductively showed me a tattoo that went up her inner thigh.What dya think? She said.My ex had one of them so i dumped her.What? A tattoo?No, i mean a fat belly
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   Old Thread  #46 11 Mar 2012 at 2.26pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I went to a sex shop and the lady behind the counter said "Hello, the S&M section is just over there."So I nodded my head. I would have thanked her but I had my gimp mask on at the time
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   Old Thread  #45 10 Mar 2012 at 7.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #42
I was watching a film with my little boy. He said "dad, I'm getting scared, is that lady going to die"? I said "probably son, judging by the size of that horses cock"....
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   Old Thread  #44 10 Mar 2012 at 2.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #43 10 Mar 2012 at 12.47pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Hahahaha
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   Old Thread  #42 10 Mar 2012 at 7.46am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My girlfriend said bringing toys into the bedroom would spice up our sex lives... So I double fisted her with a set of Hulk Hands.
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   Old Thread  #41 9 Mar 2012 at 9.00pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
As my wife regained consciousness after a six month coma, the doctor said:

"She's awake sir, you can speak to her."

"Ok" I said, "I'll ask you again, and this time I want the truth... where were you 'til midnight?"
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   Old Thread  #40 8 Mar 2012 at 12.54pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #39
Travelling on the tube this morning I was eyeing up this fit bird.
she tagged me and said
"What are you looking at"
I replied "8 to 16 years depending on how much you struggle"
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