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   Old Thread  #110 15 Apr 2012 at 1.59pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #109
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman, its very rewarding and the sex is great but its also very challenging. It took me ages to get her husbands voice right!!
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   Old Thread  #109 15 Apr 2012 at 1.57pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I have been arrested for wasting police time, i thought i saw a kangaroo in my garden!! but it turned out to just be the neighbours grey hound taking a crap.

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   Old Thread  #108 14 Apr 2012 at 7.30pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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the village idiot gets pulled by the old bill while driving his horse box
where you going , asks the copper
taking my horses to the races , says the idiot
the old bill looks in the box and sees its empty and says , theres nothing in there
i know says the idiot , im taking the non runners first
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   Old Thread  #107 13 Apr 2012 at 6.59pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife's sister knocked me out yesterday.
l was so f--king angry!
What sort of sick bitch puts chloroform on her dirty knickers??
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   Old Thread  #106 12 Apr 2012 at 8.01pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #105 12 Apr 2012 at 7.05am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I've got this magical cow that can talk. I keep it outside most of the time, but sometimes you can hear it saying some hilarious things,Like 'Let me in, for God's sake, I'm your wife
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   Old Thread  #104 12 Apr 2012 at 7.02am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I found my girlfriend dead in the bed the other day. She just lay there lifeless, so I deceided to s.ag her one last time. All of a sudden she jumped up and shouted BOO!!! Honestly some people are sick in the fcuking head
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   Old Thread  #103 12 Apr 2012 at 6.59am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I looked on the roof of the supermarket today, to see a fat chick standing up there."What are you doing?" I shouted up to her."I'm sick of being teased about my weight!" She cried. "I'm killing my self.""Come on, there's kids round," I replied. "And they'll start singing fcuking Humpty Dumpty
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   Old Thread  #102 12 Apr 2012 at 6.56am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
This chap went to India for a cheap penis extension operation.The surgeon said, "I can fit you with a baby elephant's trunk for 3000 pounds.""Excellent," said the chap. "Go ahead."6 weeks later he's having dinner with his new girlfriend when his new cock shoots out of his trousers, steals an apple off the table and disappears back inside his trousers."That was amazing," said his girlfriend. "Can you do it again?""Sorry," he said, "I don't think my ar.e could manage another apple
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   Old Thread  #101 11 Apr 2012 at 10.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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sik by name
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   Old Thread  #100 9 Apr 2012 at 9.06pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #99 9 Apr 2012 at 12.12pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I said, "Gran, I think this milk is off."She said,
Well, it's been along time since anyone sucked my nipples
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   Old Thread  #98 7 Apr 2012 at 7.19am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Went swimming the other day and while at the deep end I decided to have a cheeky Piss.
Unfortunatly the life guard spotted me and I tell you what.
He blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in
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   Old Thread  #97 5 Apr 2012 at 2.49pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A guy walks into a bar and drinks ten pints of lager, then he says to the barman "Do you sell shorts?". Barman says "Of course we do." Good" he says, "Gimme a pair cause I just pissed myself!"

Guy walks into a bar and says "Can I have a packet of helicopter flavoured crisps?" Barman says "Sorry, we've only got plane."

Bloke sat at a table in the pub enjoying a nice pint of bitter. Woman walks over to him, puts her bum over his glass and farts into it, she casually walks away back to the bar. Bloke goes over to her and says "You fart in my Whitbread?" "No" she says, "I'm Tessa Sanderson".
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   Old Thread  #96 4 Apr 2012 at 6.34pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What is the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? The pickpocket spends his time snatching watches.
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