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   Old Thread  #116 29 Apr 2012 at 7.53pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The lady next door came to my door asking if I knew anything about her washing missing from her clothes line.I almost sh.t her pants
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   Old Thread  #115 24 Apr 2012 at 7.49am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #114
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   Old Thread  #114 19 Apr 2012 at 8.31pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
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   Old Thread  #113 15 Apr 2012 at 3.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
How do you kill a circus?

Go for the juggler!
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   Old Thread  #112 15 Apr 2012 at 2.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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After our divorce i killed the wife and dumped her body but kept her *****. my new girlfriend hasn't a clue when i say im going upstairs to have a go on the ex box
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   Old Thread  #111 15 Apr 2012 at 2.01pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Stephen hawking just came back from his first date in years!His glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees. apparently she stood him up!
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   Old Thread  #110 15 Apr 2012 at 1.59pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman, its very rewarding and the sex is great but its also very challenging. It took me ages to get her husbands voice right!!
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   Old Thread  #109 15 Apr 2012 at 1.57pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I have been arrested for wasting police time, i thought i saw a kangaroo in my garden!! but it turned out to just be the neighbours grey hound taking a crap.

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   Old Thread  #108 14 Apr 2012 at 7.30pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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the village idiot gets pulled by the old bill while driving his horse box
where you going , asks the copper
taking my horses to the races , says the idiot
the old bill looks in the box and sees its empty and says , theres nothing in there
i know says the idiot , im taking the non runners first
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   Old Thread  #107 13 Apr 2012 at 6.59pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife's sister knocked me out yesterday.
l was so f--king angry!
What sort of sick bitch puts chloroform on her dirty knickers??
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   Old Thread  #106 12 Apr 2012 at 8.01pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #105 12 Apr 2012 at 7.05am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I've got this magical cow that can talk. I keep it outside most of the time, but sometimes you can hear it saying some hilarious things,Like 'Let me in, for God's sake, I'm your wife
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   Old Thread  #104 12 Apr 2012 at 7.02am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I found my girlfriend dead in the bed the other day. She just lay there lifeless, so I deceided to s.ag her one last time. All of a sudden she jumped up and shouted BOO!!! Honestly some people are sick in the fcuking head
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   Old Thread  #103 12 Apr 2012 at 6.59am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I looked on the roof of the supermarket today, to see a fat chick standing up there."What are you doing?" I shouted up to her."I'm sick of being teased about my weight!" She cried. "I'm killing my self.""Come on, there's kids round," I replied. "And they'll start singing fcuking Humpty Dumpty
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   Old Thread  #102 12 Apr 2012 at 6.56am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
This chap went to India for a cheap penis extension operation.The surgeon said, "I can fit you with a baby elephant's trunk for 3000 pounds.""Excellent," said the chap. "Go ahead."6 weeks later he's having dinner with his new girlfriend when his new cock shoots out of his trousers, steals an apple off the table and disappears back inside his trousers."That was amazing," said his girlfriend. "Can you do it again?""Sorry," he said, "I don't think my ar.e could manage another apple
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