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   Old Thread  #2397 30 Jan 2016 at 0.10am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2394
According to tetley the way to make the perfect Cuppa is to agitate the bag , so every morning I slap her Arse and say , two sugars fatty
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   Old Thread  #2396 30 Jan 2016 at 0.10am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2394
According to tetley the way to make the perfect Cuppa is to agitate the bag , so every morning I slap her Arse and say , two sugars fatty
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   Old Thread  #2395 30 Jan 2016 at 0.10am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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According to tetley the way to make the perfect Cuppa is to agitate the bag , so every morning I slap her Arse and say , two sugars fatty
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   Old Thread  #2394 28 Jan 2016 at 2.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Jesus came upon a small crowd who had surrounded a young woman they believed to be an adulteress. They were preparing to stone her to death.

To calm the situation, Jesus said: "Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone."

Suddenly, an old lady at the back of the crowd picked up a huge rock and lobbed it at the young woman, scoring a direct hit and killed her stone dead on the spot.

Jesus looked towards the old lady and said: "Do you know, Mother, sometimes you really piss me off."
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   Old Thread  #2393 27 Jan 2016 at 9.40pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2392
Guy had trouble getting erection,doc gave him prescription,wondered why girls in chemist were giggling,
When he got home he looked at box and it said,take one tablet each evening.......they were called
MICOXXAFLOPIN
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   Old Thread  #2392 25 Jan 2016 at 3.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2391 24 Jan 2016 at 5.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie, he tests it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon, the son says, "I did maths at school." The robot slaps the son, the son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies.", dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Star Wars," the robot slaps the son, Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn," dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was," the robot slaps the father, mum laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son," the robot slaps the mum.
Robot for sale.
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   Old Thread  #2390 18 Jan 2016 at 9.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A major British snack food company has decided to honour Tim Peake's recent history-making space walk, by renaming one of their most popular biscuits after him.

McVities 'Gingernauts' will be available at all leading food retailers in the near future.

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   Old Thread  #2389 16 Jan 2016 at 2.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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4m for Charlie Austin - Southampton are getting someone with experience - they'll not get lost next year driving to the other Championship grounds...
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   Old Thread  #2388 16 Jan 2016 at 12.53pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My girlfriend used Vaseline on a handjob today.

I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off.

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   Old Thread  #2387 13 Jan 2016 at 6.56pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Do you know what the first sign of Madness is ,
Suggs walking up you're drive
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   Old Thread  #2386 12 Jan 2016 at 3.47pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I learned a lot from my ex wife before we split up.

I found out a group of sharks is called a Shiver, a group of flamingoes is called a Flamboyance, a group of goldfish is called a Troubling, a group of buffaloes is called an Obstinance and a threesome with Mike and Tony is called A couple of drinks with the girls after work.

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   Old Thread  #2385 12 Jan 2016 at 11.12am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Sean Connery walks into a cake shop in Sauchiehall Street and says to the woman serving, "Is that a macaroon or a meringue?"

The woman replies, "No your right, it's a macaroon"
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   Old Thread  #2384 10 Jan 2016 at 7.34pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2383 8 Jan 2016 at 7.33pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I went down to the morgue to identify my wife's body when just before the Mortician lifted the sheet some gas escaped resulting in a farting sound.

"I'm sorry, " he said, "this happens sometimes. "

"No need to lift the sheet, " I replied, "I would recognise that smell anywhere. "

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