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   Old Thread  #232 24 Jul 2012 at 8.27pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #231 24 Jul 2012 at 8.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology which was explaining the phenomenon of "mixed emotions ". The husband turned to his wife and said, "That is an absolute bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time."

She said: "Out of all your friends, you have the biggest d*ck."
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   Old Thread  #230 24 Jul 2012 at 7.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #229 24 Jul 2012 at 7.46pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!

Little Johnny is taking a shower
with his mother and says, "Mom,
what are those things on your
chest!?" Unsure of how to reply,
she tells Johnny to ask his dad at
breakfast tomorrow, quite
certain the matter would be
forgotten.
Johnny didn't forget. The
following morning he asked his
father the same question. His
father, always quick with the
answers, says, "Why Johnny,
those are balloons. When your
mommy dies, we can blow them
up and she'll float to heaven."
Johnny thinks that's neat and
asks no more questions.
A few weeks later, Johnny's dad
comes home from work a few
hours early. Johnny runs out of
the house crying hysterically,
"Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's
dying!!" His father says, "Calm
down son! Why do you think
Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is
blowing up Mommy's balloons
and she's screaming, "Oh God,
I'm coming
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   Old Thread  #228 22 Jul 2012 at 6.37pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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A African bloke walked into my pub holding a bucket this afternoon.
He handed me the bucket and said,"can you fill this up with water?"
i said; "f--k sake how many miles have you walked for this?"
He said,
"none you cheeky c--t l'm the window cleaner."
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   Old Thread  #227 21 Jul 2012 at 10.20pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #226 20 Jul 2012 at 10.00pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #225 20 Jul 2012 at 9.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #224 20 Jul 2012 at 9.02pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
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   Old Thread  #223 20 Jul 2012 at 8.57pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #222 20 Jul 2012 at 7.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My mate tried that new drug meow! meow! it's very good, so far he has had a sleep in front of fire, had a bowl of milk, been for a s..t in his next door's garden Oh and can lick his own balls!!
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   Old Thread  #221 19 Jul 2012 at 5.57pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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**** off ginger or ille tell em the one about your small appendige
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aka Elephant Man
   Old Thread  #220 19 Jul 2012 at 7.07am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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You are to comedy what Ronald McDonald is to the vegan movement
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   Old Thread  #219 19 Jul 2012 at 4.51am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Im'e not sure who invented the halal meat slicer, but you can bet Abu Hanza had a hand in it !
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   Old Thread  #218 18 Jul 2012 at 9.49pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I bet Katie Price could find Wally in about five seconds if he had his cock hanging out.
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