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 #348 16 Sept 2012 at 4.59pm | |  |   |
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In reply to Post #344
 
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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#347 16 Sept 2012 at 4.51pm | | | |
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I phoned a Chinese restaurant last night and the man said,"Hello, I'm Wan King the chef:L" I said,"No worries, I'll call back later
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#346 16 Sept 2012 at 4.46pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #344
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#345 16 Sept 2012 at 4.32pm | | | |
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Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been ringing 08001730 for 2 days. Why don't you answer the phone? Girl replies, those are Our opening times you tw@t
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#344 16 Sept 2012 at 4.32pm | | | |
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A midget woman goes to the doctors and complains Dr I have a very itchy fanny". the doctor inspects and says," Duhhh It's the fur on top of your ugg boots!!"
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#343 16 Sept 2012 at 3.47pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #339
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#342 16 Sept 2012 at 3.45pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #334
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#341 16 Sept 2012 at 2.55pm | | | |
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couple of crackers there ian 
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#340 16 Sept 2012 at 11.53am | | | |
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Man goes to Marks & Spencers to buy her wife a maternity bra.... Shop assistant asks "What bust?". Man says "The f.....g condom
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#339 16 Sept 2012 at 11.51am | | | |
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Wife buys some crotchless undies.. puts her leg up on sofa and says to hubby "'want some of this?" hubby replies "f..k off! Look what it's done to your knickers
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#338 16 Sept 2012 at 11.42am | | | |
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In reply to Post #334
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#337 16 Sept 2012 at 11.40am | | | |
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In reply to Post #334
I told the wife to read this one, she did then said "was it his brother or something?" 
Bless her............Blonde & all that 
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#336 16 Sept 2012 at 11.40am | | | |
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lv just been down my garden and saw my dog shagging a cabbage silly ba....d must have thought it was a collie
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#335 16 Sept 2012 at 11.35am | | | |
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A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race Evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."!!
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#334 16 Sept 2012 at 11.34am | | | |
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A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.'The guy left. A few days later, the same guy....'How long before I can get a haircut?'The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.'The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How lo
ng before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half .The guy left.The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favor , follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back. 'A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves? 'Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, 'Your house!'!!
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