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   Old Thread  #317 8 Sept 2012 at 7.03pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A couple of weeks after embarrassing the Royal family with his Vegas pictures, Prince Harry has been deployed to Afghanistan.

Nice one Philip, that'll look a bit less suspicious than another car crash.
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   Old Thread  #316 7 Sept 2012 at 9.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1
Is not every joke offensive in some way or another ? its not meant to hurt anyone,its just a JOKE !!! its funny and it makes people laugh,it should not be taken seriously
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   Old Thread  #315 6 Sept 2012 at 6.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #314 6 Sept 2012 at 5.29pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
When the Pope toured Ireland he was asked what he thought of County Down.. he said "It's not the same since Carol Vordeman left"..
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   Old Thread  #313 6 Sept 2012 at 1.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbour,” she replies.

“Great!” the husband says, “did he give you the $800 he owes me?”
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   Old Thread  #312 6 Sept 2012 at 11.57am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Some sl.g was giving me a hand job last night. "You're really good at this," I said, "what's your secret?" "Years of practice," she giggled."You've done this to loads of guys then? I asked."No" came the reply, "my name used to be Derek."
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   Old Thread  #311 6 Sept 2012 at 11.56am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #310 6 Sept 2012 at 11.54am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A teacher in a Detroit kindergarten class asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes. Little Tyrone stood up and yelled: "FREEZE, MUTHAF.CKA!".
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   Old Thread  #309 6 Sept 2012 at 11.52am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Man pinches wife's breasts and says if we firm these up we can get rid of the bra. Wife grabs his penis & says if we firm this up we can get rid of the milkman
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   Old Thread  #308 5 Sept 2012 at 5.40pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I got in touch with my inner self today.Thats the last time i buy Tesco value toilet roll.
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   Old Thread  #307 5 Sept 2012 at 9.59am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
After 100 years at the bottom of the Atlantic Irish divers were amazed that the swimming pool on the Titanic was still full
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   Old Thread  #306 5 Sept 2012 at 9.57am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
if ever one day you feel down and out and think that life couldn't get any worse..just remember, YOU were once the strongest, fastest little sperm
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   Old Thread  #305 5 Sept 2012 at 9.54am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!



Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far
during the Olympics that they would like to take back:
......
1. Weight-lifting commentator:

'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
......
2. Dressage commentator:

'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her m
other.'
......
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast:

'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
.....
4. Boxing Analyst:

'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
......
5. Softball announcer:

'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'

......
6. Basketball analyst:

'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
......
7. At the rowing medal ceremony:

'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
.....
8. Soccer commentator:

'Julian D1cks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven D1cks on the field.'
.....
9. Tennis commentator:

'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses
them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'





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   Old Thread  #304 5 Sept 2012 at 9.51am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden's funeral, a voice from inside screams:
"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"
The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters:
"Too fooking late pal, I've already done the paperwork"
What goes round, comes around
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   Old Thread  #303 5 Sept 2012 at 9.49am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Apparently Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. Yeah, must be a pain in the a..e having random strangers turn up at your door
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