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   Old Thread  #311 6 Sept 2012 at 11.56am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #309
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   Old Thread  #310 6 Sept 2012 at 11.54am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A teacher in a Detroit kindergarten class asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes. Little Tyrone stood up and yelled: "FREEZE, MUTHAF.CKA!".
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   Old Thread  #309 6 Sept 2012 at 11.52am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Man pinches wife's breasts and says if we firm these up we can get rid of the bra. Wife grabs his penis & says if we firm this up we can get rid of the milkman
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   Old Thread  #308 5 Sept 2012 at 5.40pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I got in touch with my inner self today.Thats the last time i buy Tesco value toilet roll.
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   Old Thread  #307 5 Sept 2012 at 9.59am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
After 100 years at the bottom of the Atlantic Irish divers were amazed that the swimming pool on the Titanic was still full
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   Old Thread  #306 5 Sept 2012 at 9.57am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
if ever one day you feel down and out and think that life couldn't get any worse..just remember, YOU were once the strongest, fastest little sperm
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   Old Thread  #305 5 Sept 2012 at 9.54am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!



Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far
during the Olympics that they would like to take back:
......
1. Weight-lifting commentator:

'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
......
2. Dressage commentator:

'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her m
other.'
......
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast:

'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
.....
4. Boxing Analyst:

'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
......
5. Softball announcer:

'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'

......
6. Basketball analyst:

'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
......
7. At the rowing medal ceremony:

'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
.....
8. Soccer commentator:

'Julian D1cks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven D1cks on the field.'
.....
9. Tennis commentator:

'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses
them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'





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   Old Thread  #304 5 Sept 2012 at 9.51am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden's funeral, a voice from inside screams:
"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"
The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters:
"Too fooking late pal, I've already done the paperwork"
What goes round, comes around
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   Old Thread  #303 5 Sept 2012 at 9.49am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Apparently Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. Yeah, must be a pain in the a..e having random strangers turn up at your door
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   Old Thread  #302 5 Sept 2012 at 9.47am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
"Does this dress make me look slutty?" Asked my girlfriend in the shop changing room.I just rolled my eyes and shared an ironic look with her husband
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   Old Thread  #301 4 Sept 2012 at 9.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Paddy and Murphy go to a fancy dress party
And the theme is emotions
People are dressed as 'rage', fear' and 'happiness'

Paddy is naked apart from having his dick stuck in a Pear
Murphy is also naked with his dick in a bowlful of custard

'So what have you two come as ?' asks someone

Paddy says 'I'm deep in despair'
Murphy says ' I'm fuc@ing disgusted'

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   Old Thread  #300 3 Sept 2012 at 8.05am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #299 2 Sept 2012 at 8.10pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #298 2 Sept 2012 at 7.52pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Mick Hucknalls been arrested after being caught sha..in a rabbit a police source said he was holding back the ears & singing bunnys 2 tight 2 mention
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   Old Thread  #297 2 Sept 2012 at 7.25pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #296
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