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   Old Thread  #345 16 Sept 2012 at 4.32pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been ringing 08001730 for 2 days. Why don't you answer the phone? Girl replies, those are Our opening times you tw@t
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   Old Thread  #344 16 Sept 2012 at 4.32pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!



A midget woman goes to the doctors and complains Dr I have a very itchy fanny". the doctor inspects and says," Duhhh It's the fur on top of your ugg boots!!"
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   Old Thread  #343 16 Sept 2012 at 3.47pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #342 16 Sept 2012 at 3.45pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #341 16 Sept 2012 at 2.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
couple of crackers there ian
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   Old Thread  #340 16 Sept 2012 at 11.53am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Man goes to Marks & Spencers to buy her wife a maternity bra.... Shop assistant asks "What bust?". Man says "The f.....g condom
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   Old Thread  #339 16 Sept 2012 at 11.51am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Wife buys some crotchless undies.. puts her leg up on sofa and says to hubby "'want some of this?" hubby replies "f..k off! Look what it's done to your knickers
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   Old Thread  #338 16 Sept 2012 at 11.42am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #337 16 Sept 2012 at 11.40am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I told the wife to read this one, she did then said "was it his brother or something?"
Bless her............Blonde & all that
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   Old Thread  #336 16 Sept 2012 at 11.40am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
lv just been down my garden and saw my dog shagging a cabbage silly ba....d must have thought it was a collie
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   Old Thread  #335 16 Sept 2012 at 11.35am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race Evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."!!
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   Old Thread  #334 16 Sept 2012 at 11.34am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.'The guy left. A few days later, the same guy....'How long before I can get a haircut?'The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.'The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How lo
ng before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half .The guy left.The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favor , follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back. 'A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves? 'Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, 'Your house!'!!
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   Old Thread  #333 14 Sept 2012 at 8.40pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
"A Vodka Martini please mate," I said as I pushed my way in front of two massive women in the cocktail bar."That's very rude!" one of them said, "Just for that you can buy ours! That'll be two margaritas.""And two cheese and tomato pizzas for these fat cu*ts please."
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   Old Thread  #332 14 Sept 2012 at 7.41am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Two couples on holiday, and husbands Paul and Dave decide to try and get their ladies to wife swap. Amazingly they agree but Paul knows his wife is on her time of the month so he's got one up on Dave. They agree that at breakfast they'll tap the spoon on the table however many times they shagged the other's missus. Next morning Paul grins and taps twice, looks across at Dave who smiles then taps once on the jam and three times on the Nutella!
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   Old Thread  #331 13 Sept 2012 at 8.27pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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