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   Old Thread  #357 19 Sept 2012 at 0.14am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
It's a good job Apple didn't invent bread.

They'd ruin the person that first sliced it.

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   Old Thread  #356 18 Sept 2012 at 5.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #355 18 Sept 2012 at 9.56am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!


















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   Old Thread  #354 18 Sept 2012 at 9.55am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!


An Englishman is having breakfast in Paris one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You English folk eat the whole bread??"

Englishman (in a bad mood): "Of course."


Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France , we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to England ." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The Englishman listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jam with the bread??"

Englishman: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).

"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to England ."

After a moment of silence, The Englishman then asks: "Do you have sex in France ?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

Englishman: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

Englishman: "We don't. In England , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France ."

















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   Old Thread  #353 18 Sept 2012 at 6.54am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #352 17 Sept 2012 at 3.41pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Me and my flat chested wife went to a marriage guidance councellor. The bloke asked me what seems to be the problem, to which I replied "Dolly Parton here thinks I am too sarcastic".
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   Old Thread  #351 17 Sept 2012 at 5.45am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Q ~ Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus?
A ~ The wife will always blow your bonus
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   Old Thread  #350 16 Sept 2012 at 9.49pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #349 16 Sept 2012 at 9.12pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife started flashing her nipples trying to get into a club.

I shouted, "For ****'s sake, love, pull your skirt down!"
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   Old Thread  #348 16 Sept 2012 at 4.59pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #347 16 Sept 2012 at 4.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I phoned a Chinese restaurant last night and the man said,"Hello, I'm Wan King the chef:L" I said,"No worries, I'll call back later
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   Old Thread  #346 16 Sept 2012 at 4.46pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #345 16 Sept 2012 at 4.32pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been ringing 08001730 for 2 days. Why don't you answer the phone? Girl replies, those are Our opening times you tw@t
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   Old Thread  #344 16 Sept 2012 at 4.32pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!



A midget woman goes to the doctors and complains Dr I have a very itchy fanny". the doctor inspects and says," Duhhh It's the fur on top of your ugg boots!!"
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   Old Thread  #343 16 Sept 2012 at 3.47pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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