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   Old Thread  #385 30 Sept 2012 at 4.57pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian says, "Fek off, you won't bring it back."
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   Old Thread  #384 30 Sept 2012 at 4.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #383 30 Sept 2012 at 4.50pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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FFS.......
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   Old Thread  #382 30 Sept 2012 at 4.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Paddy's wife comes home from work to find he has nailed all her sex toys to the wall she screams you silly fooker paddy i said i wanted a DADO RAIL
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   Old Thread  #381 29 Sept 2012 at 1.31pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #380 29 Sept 2012 at 9.45am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really like to see your handsome face ." She said James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!" Oh please? The girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice. "Really, I can't", He replies. "my wife loves this beard!"

The girlfriend asks once more time and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into to bed with his wife while she was sleeping. The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and says, "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
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   Old Thread  #379 29 Sept 2012 at 9.41am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,

'OK old fart, Time for you to retire.'
The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle
ALL of these chickens.
Look what it has done to me
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'

The young rooster says,

'Beat it: You are washed up
And I am taking over.'

The old rooster says,
'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'



The young rooster laughs.
'You know you don't stand a chance, old man.
So, just to be fair,
I will give you a head start.'

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.

They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.



He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast!

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
When he sees the roosters running by.

The Old Rooster is squawking
And running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and
- BOOM -
He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,



'Dammit......
Third gay rooster I bought this month.'



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   Old Thread  #378 29 Sept 2012 at 9.33am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A bra and some jump-leads walked into a bar.The barman says I'm not serving u two! Your off your t.ts and your mate looks like he's gonna start something
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   Old Thread  #377 29 Sept 2012 at 9.27am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Two eggs boiling in a pan, one egg says to the other.. "I've got a huge crack!" the other egg replies "Stop f...ing teasing me, i'm not hard yet
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   Old Thread  #376 29 Sept 2012 at 9.08am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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fantastic
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   Old Thread  #375 28 Sept 2012 at 11.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Hi, I'm hosting a charity disco and raffle night on the 6th October, to raise money for people who struggle to reach orgasm.

If you can't come then let me know.
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   Old Thread  #374 28 Sept 2012 at 12.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I don't like to blow my own trumpet...but I just can't help myself since I had my bottom ribs removed.
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   Old Thread  #373 28 Sept 2012 at 12.35pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Sky Sports News Latest - The next 4 weekends of Premier League football are under threat as footballers struck down by a severe outbreak of diarrhoea.

They are all shi**ing themselves over John Terry's whereabouts during his 4 match ban.
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   Old Thread  #372 27 Sept 2012 at 3.52pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Well, whilst JT now has 4 games to sit out of he's probably gonna be bored....... If I was a Chelsea player i'd be making sure my wife/girlfriend goes overboard on the sunbeds and fake tan, he's less likely to be interested then
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   Old Thread  #371 26 Sept 2012 at 6.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #369
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