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   Old Thread  #415 6 Oct 2012 at 9.49am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A blonde takes her car to a mechanic. he says 'nothing to worry about, just sh.t in the air filter'. She says 'Brilliant, so how many times a day do i do that
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   Old Thread  #414 6 Oct 2012 at 9.48am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What has two wings and a halo? A Japanese phone. Wing, Wing! HALO?
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   Old Thread  #413 6 Oct 2012 at 9.44am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Man comes home to find his mate sha..ing his wife so he stabs the f..ker to death ...his wife says "carry on like that and you'll have no mates left
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   Old Thread  #412 4 Oct 2012 at 8.36pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #411
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   Old Thread  #411 4 Oct 2012 at 6.59pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
more scandal for the BBC as someone is now saying they saw Rod Hull fisting a young bird
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   Old Thread  #410 4 Oct 2012 at 6.57pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Breaking news! A mob of dyslexic parents have just beaten up Jimmy Sommerville
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   Old Thread  #409 4 Oct 2012 at 4.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Now then! Now then! What has jimmy saville and acne got in common ? They both come on a girls face when she's 14....... How's about that then?!
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   Old Thread  #408 3 Oct 2012 at 8.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #407
Sorry mods didnt see the swear word in that joke
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   Old Thread  #407 3 Oct 2012 at 7.11pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The Pope went to Northern Ireland. He asked Paddy what he thought of County Down, he replied - it's been ***** since Carol Vorderman left.
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   Old Thread  #406 3 Oct 2012 at 7.11pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I will not have a bad word said about Jimmy Saville. When I was a boy he fixed it for me to go on a camping trip with Gary Glitter.
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   Old Thread  #405 3 Oct 2012 at 7.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The BBC News channel just displayed images of the three women who claimed that Jimmy Savile interfered with them sexually. They showed a current picture of each of the women and a picture taken of each of them from the 1970s.

The caption read: Now, then. Now, then. Now, then.
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   Old Thread  #404 3 Oct 2012 at 6.26pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
If there was a competition for saggy tits, my wife would beat everyone.

In fact, she'd wipe the floor with them.
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   Old Thread  #403 3 Oct 2012 at 5.40pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
JD Sports are doing Jimmy Saville memorial tracksuits..

They have an adult size top but you have to squeeze into kids bottoms.
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   Old Thread  #402 3 Oct 2012 at 3.27pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Oops!
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   Old Thread  #401 3 Oct 2012 at 3.03pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!

John Reilly was on the side of the road hitchhiking back to Dublin on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.

The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahea
d of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.

John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on. The car started moving slowly.
John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.

Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.

Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength; he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling
everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.

A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying... and wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Reilly sobbing at the bar, one said to the other...

Look frank... there's that fooking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it....

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