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Sad news Marti Pellow has Arthritis.
He feels it in his fingers, he feels it in his toes.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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A husband comes home drunk, vomits and falls down on the floor… Wife pulls him up and cleans everything.
Next day when he gets up, he expects her to be really angry with him… He prays that they would not have a fight.. to his surprise, he finds a note near the table that reads:
“Honey, your breakfast is ready on the table, I had to leave early to buy groceries. I love you.”
He asks his son about what happened last night, his son told:
When mom pulled you to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt.. you were dead drunk and you said… “Hey lady! Leave me alone… I’m married!”
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In reply to Post #1
Stephen Hawking returned from his first date in 10 years with a black eye, bruises, scrapes, and a twisted ankle. Apparently she stood him up.
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All these years thinking i had a birth mark on my ar$e,now it turns out to be a cigar burn,hows about that then!
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In reply to Post #622
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Some woman knocked on my door earlier and said that she had lost her dog.
She said, "If you help me find it I will let you **** my fanny all night."
I said, "What does it look like?"
She said, "It's a big, black, fluffy thing."
I said, "No thanks love, I'll give it a miss."
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In reply to Post #622
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In reply to Post #622
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As I stripped off my dates clothes I said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but did you used to be a man?"
"Damn," she replied, "I've spent £20,000 on surgery, have great tits, a nice tight pussy and a body to die for. What gave me away?"
I said, "Your mum's sewed 'KEV' nametags in all of your clothes."
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In reply to Post #617
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In reply to Post #615
like it
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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In reply to Post #617
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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Yoko Ono is going in the jungle to advise on bush tucker survival. The slitty eyed f@cker has managed to live off a dead beatle for the last 30 years
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My son asked me why oysters are Aphrodisiacs.
"Not sure son, maybe because they smell like fannies."
"Ugh, is that what mum's is like?"
"You tell me," I replied, "you were the last one near it."
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In reply to Post #615
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NON Carp stuff