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   Old Thread  #587 21 Nov 2012 at 12.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Paddy walks into the doctors straight in to the doctors room and boots him right in the knackers and says "thats for telling my wife she's got a nice F@nny"" i told her she had Acute Angina " the doctor replied
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   Old Thread  #586 21 Nov 2012 at 6.20am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I walked into WH Smiths and asked "do you have that new self help book for men with small cocks?"Girl says "I don't think its in yet."I said"yeah that's the one.
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   Old Thread  #585 20 Nov 2012 at 7.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #584 20 Nov 2012 at 7.23pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Some goodens their mate
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   Old Thread  #583 20 Nov 2012 at 10.00am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #582 20 Nov 2012 at 9.59am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #581 20 Nov 2012 at 3.31am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead, until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby
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   Old Thread  #580 20 Nov 2012 at 3.31am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Paddy says, "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador . ”Bugger that!" says Mick. "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?
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   Old Thread  #579 20 Nov 2012 at 3.27am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has travelled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat
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   Old Thread  #578 20 Nov 2012 at 3.26am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over.
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   Old Thread  #577 19 Nov 2012 at 11.27am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Apparently Lady Gaga's developed a nut allergy.

Guess that explains the recent rash on her inner thighs.
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   Old Thread  #576 19 Nov 2012 at 5.44am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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That's brilliant Noj!!!
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   Old Thread  #575 18 Nov 2012 at 8.47pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #574 17 Nov 2012 at 10.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
hes a big headed **** aint he
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   Old Thread  #573 17 Nov 2012 at 5.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The father of 17 kids goes to the doc's with a rash on his belly. "All right" says the Doc, "drop 'em and let's have a look." Having been confronted with the evidence the Doc exclaims "Yes, you've got a bad rash there, but my word, what brown balls you've got. They're truly remarkable!".

The patient is a bit embarrassed and says "Look Doc, what about the rash?"

"Oh that's easy," said the Doc, "Here's some cream to rub on. By the way, those brown balls are amazing, my I ask....."

"No," said the patient, "You can't. Now, is that all Doc?"

"Well, " said the Doctor, " You could stop the rash coming back with a bit better hygiene. Tell your wife you need clean underpants every day. And those really are the brownest balls I've ever seen!"

The guy goes home and tells his wife that the Doctor says he needs clean underpants every day.

"What?" she yells, "Clean underpants every day, and me with 17 kids to chase after! Seventeen kids to wash, feed, clothe, get to school, tidy after, and you want clean underpants every day? You must be bloody joking, I haven't even got time to wipe my arse!"

"Ah" he said, "And that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about..."
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