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   Old Thread  #2436 29 Mar 2016 at 10.09am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Saw this in a local paper!!!!

"This is Lexi. She's an 14-week-old German Shepherd.

I bought Lexi as a surprise for my wife but it turns out she is allergic to dogs, so we are now looking to find her a new home.

She is 59 years old, a beautiful and caring woman who drives, is a great cook and keeps a good house."
Tel
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   Old Thread  #2435 26 Mar 2016 at 3.26pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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And was he ?
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   Old Thread  #2434 24 Mar 2016 at 8.36pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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As jesus was nailed to the cross, he looked down on his diciples and said...........don't ****ing touch my easter eggs, I'll be back on Sunday!
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   Old Thread  #2433 24 Mar 2016 at 8.33pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2432 24 Mar 2016 at 9.27am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I'm surprised they didn't call you sirry ****
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   Old Thread  #2431 23 Mar 2016 at 10.30pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2430 23 Mar 2016 at 9.08pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I think I did get it really

When I worked in China - they called me Toe Lee
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   Old Thread  #2429 23 Mar 2016 at 8.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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What do you call a man with no shins................................................

TOE........KNEE = Tony!!!


not Tony59
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   Old Thread  #2428 22 Mar 2016 at 10.25pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I don't get it....
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   Old Thread  #2427 18 Mar 2016 at 5.54pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke .?

You're mum can't take a joke
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   Old Thread  #2426 7 Mar 2016 at 4.53pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A three foot midget go's into the gent's public toilet and points Percy to the porcelain, in walked a giant of a man with a twitch, after a minute or so the big guy looked down to the little guy and said isn't it funny you have the same affliction as me, the little guy looked up and said "affliction be buggered, every time you twitch you keep pissing in my ear".
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   Old Thread  #2425 5 Mar 2016 at 12.10pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2424 5 Mar 2016 at 7.29am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2423 5 Mar 2016 at 7.00am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Q. Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus ?.
A. Your wIfe will always "blow" your bonus!!

Tel
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   Old Thread  #2422 27 Feb 2016 at 9.20pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
All the following spoken in a west country farmers voice


Farmer Brown!
Yes farmer piles Giles
I hear you have a very rare pig, the same as me,
That's right I do, why do you ask?
If we get them together to mate, their offspring will earn us a fortune,
Right, mine is a male so to conserve his energy for the boncking session you bring your girl over to my farm in the morning
farmer Giles put her in a wheel barrow and off they go,
the deed was done
next morning
is she up the duff?
how do I tell?
she will be laying on her back with two feet in the air.
Oh no she's standing.
ok bring her back in the morning.

this go's on for a week
on the last day
is she laying on her back.....
No!
what's she doing
she's in the wheel barrow with a big grin on her face.
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