CarpForum - Fishing Forum
  Already registered? [Log-In]  New user? [Register]

Want 11,000+ anglers a day to see your product or service?  Click HERE to see how
Home Who's Online Member List Gallery Downloads Fish Ins Weather
Rules / Usage Help / FAQs Search Articles The Carp Shop Fishy Forums
  New Posts: 0
   Joke Thread
 [Log-In]  [Register] 
ralph69 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of ralph69 (John)
Contact details supplied to MODs
ralph69
Posts: 9586
   Old Thread  #634 1 Dec 2012 at 7.05pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #633
MattH85 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of MattH85 (Matt)
Contact details supplied to MODs
MattH85
Posts: 3673
   Old Thread  #633 1 Dec 2012 at 6.32pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #632
i was chatting to a gypsy bird in the pub last night when she asked "would you like to come back to mine for a good time" she was'nt f***in kidding either..i went on the waltzers,the ghost train & the dodgems, i even came home with a goldfish!
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22617
   Old Thread  #632 1 Dec 2012 at 6.08pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #631
WaftyCranker is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of WaftyCranker (Ian)
Contact details supplied to MODs
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3440
   Old Thread  #631 1 Dec 2012 at 6.02pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The BBC have cancelled Bob The Builder, apparently they don't trust anyone who can fix it now...
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22617
   Old Thread  #630 1 Dec 2012 at 5.18pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Sad news Marti Pellow has Arthritis.

He feels it in his fingers, he feels it in his toes.
sik is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of sik (Simon)
Contact details supplied to MODs
sik
Posts: 2391
   Old Thread  #629 1 Dec 2012 at 2.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A husband comes home drunk, vomits and falls down on the floor… Wife pulls him up and cleans everything.

Next day when he gets up, he expects her to be really angry with him… He prays that they would not have a fight.. to his surprise, he finds a note near the table that reads:

“Honey, your breakfast is ready on the table, I had to leave early to buy groceries. I love you.”

He asks his son about what happened last night, his son told:

When mom pulled you to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt.. you were dead drunk and you said… “Hey lady! Leave me alone… I’m married!”
buzzbomb is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of buzzbomb (Richard)
buzzbomb
Posts: 57
   Old Thread  #628 30 Nov 2012 at 11.37pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1
Stephen Hawking returned from his first date in 10 years with a black eye, bruises, scrapes, and a twisted ankle. Apparently she stood him up.
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #627 30 Nov 2012 at 9.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
All these years thinking i had a birth mark on my ar$e,now it turns out to be a cigar burn,hows about that then!
JimD is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of JimD (James)
Contact details supplied to MODs
JimD
Posts: 2646
   Old Thread  #626 29 Nov 2012 at 10.17am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #622
Mr-Bean-Laden is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Mr-Bean-Laden (Andrew)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 1907
   Old Thread  #625 28 Nov 2012 at 6.17pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Some woman knocked on my door earlier and said that she had lost her dog.

She said, "If you help me find it I will let you **** my fanny all night."

I said, "What does it look like?"

She said, "It's a big, black, fluffy thing."

I said, "No thanks love, I'll give it a miss."
carpy09 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of carpy09 (Chris)
Contact details supplied to MODs
carpy09
Posts: 11667
   Old Thread  #624 28 Nov 2012 at 3.00pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #622
Mr-Bean-Laden is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Mr-Bean-Laden (Andrew)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 1907
   Old Thread  #623 28 Nov 2012 at 1.56pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #622
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22617
   Old Thread  #622 28 Nov 2012 at 1.50pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
As I stripped off my dates clothes I said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but did you used to be a man?"

"Damn," she replied, "I've spent £20,000 on surgery, have great tits, a nice tight pussy and a body to die for. What gave me away?"

I said, "Your mum's sewed 'KEV' nametags in all of your clothes."
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22617
   Old Thread  #621 28 Nov 2012 at 9.22am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #617
ralph69 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of ralph69 (John)
Contact details supplied to MODs
ralph69
Posts: 9586
   Old Thread  #620 27 Nov 2012 at 9.33pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #615
like it
Page: 134.333333333333 of 176  
  
  © Copyright 2002-2019  -  www.CarpForum.co.uk contact : webmaster@carpforum.co.uk