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 #750 23 Dec 2012 at 11.11am | |  |   |
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In reply to Post #749
 
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#749 23 Dec 2012 at 11.09am | | | |
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A couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said there had been invented a new machine that would transfer-by kinetic energy a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out.
They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor initially set the pain-transfer level to 10 percent, saying that was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point they decided to try for 50 percent.
The husband continued feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer all the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they returned home they found the milkman dead on the porch.
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#748 23 Dec 2012 at 9.19am | | | |
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In reply to Post #747
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#747 22 Dec 2012 at 6.45pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #746
A couple were Christmas shopping and the shopping centre was packed.
As the wife walked through a store she was surprised to look
around and see that her husband was nowhere to be seen.
She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. Because she was so
worried, she called him on her mobile to ask him where he was.
In a calm voice, he said, "Do you remember the jewellers we went into
about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace
that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you
one day?"
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that shop."
"Well, I'm in the pub next door to it."
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#746 22 Dec 2012 at 12.16pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #745
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#745 22 Dec 2012 at 11.32am | | | |
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This Christmas shopping is a load of w@nk.
I went to boots....and they don't sell boots....
I went to Selfridge and they don't sell fridges....
went to Curry's.....not a curry in site!
So I tried Virgin Megastore and what a fcuking disappointment that was....
It had closed down in 2007
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#744 22 Dec 2012 at 11.30am | | | |
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In reply to Post #742
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| | | noj | | Posts: 11459 | | | Social photographer... | |
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#743 21 Dec 2012 at 8.49pm | | | |
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My gold plated butt-plug business is being sued by Apple.
Apparently they have a patent on overpriced crap for A***holes.
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#742 21 Dec 2012 at 6.50pm | | | |
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Fred Talbot is forecasting some unpleasant showers.
Mainly the ones in prison
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#741 21 Dec 2012 at 6.49pm | | | |
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My wife was dressing for work and said..."How come your cock doesn't get as hard it used to?"
as she tucked her tits into her knickers!
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#740 21 Dec 2012 at 10.51am | | | |
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Went to the doctors yesterday suffering from premature ejaculation. Doctor said, "This must be very stressful for your wife." I said,
"To be honest it's getting on her tits."
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#739 20 Dec 2012 at 6.00pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #734
Pmsl
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#738 20 Dec 2012 at 11.01am | | | |
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I ran my hands over her breasts, untied her legs, spread them and lifted them in the air to reveal her waiting juicy hole, I pushed in as much as I could until she could take no more.....
Right that's the turkey stuffed now to peel the potatoes....
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#737 20 Dec 2012 at 10.19am | | | |
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I was in town shopping today and stopped a woman in the street.
"Excuse me love, have you any idea where I can get a decent jumper?"
"Have you tried Fat Face?" she replied.
"Good idea," I said.
"Do you know anywhere?" I said, turning to my wife.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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#736 20 Dec 2012 at 9.26am | | | |
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In reply to Post #734
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