CarpForum - Fishing Forum
  Already registered? [Log-In]  New user? [Register]
Aquatik
Want 11,000+ anglers a day to see your product or service?  Click HERE to see how
Home Who's Online Member List Gallery Downloads Fish Ins Weather
Rules / Usage Help / FAQs Search Articles The Carp Shop Fishy Forums
  New Posts: 0
   Joke Thread
 [Log-In]  [Register] 
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #627 30 Nov 2012 at 9.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
All these years thinking i had a birth mark on my ar$e,now it turns out to be a cigar burn,hows about that then!
JimD is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of JimD (James)
Contact details supplied to MODs
JimD
Posts: 2646
   Old Thread  #626 29 Nov 2012 at 10.17am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #622
Mr-Bean-Laden is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Mr-Bean-Laden (Andrew)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 1903
   Old Thread  #625 28 Nov 2012 at 6.17pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Some woman knocked on my door earlier and said that she had lost her dog.

She said, "If you help me find it I will let you **** my fanny all night."

I said, "What does it look like?"

She said, "It's a big, black, fluffy thing."

I said, "No thanks love, I'll give it a miss."
carpy09 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of carpy09 (Chris)
Contact details supplied to MODs
carpy09
Posts: 11408
   Old Thread  #624 28 Nov 2012 at 3.00pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #622
Mr-Bean-Laden is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Mr-Bean-Laden (Andrew)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 1903
   Old Thread  #623 28 Nov 2012 at 1.56pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #622
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22615
   Old Thread  #622 28 Nov 2012 at 1.50pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
As I stripped off my dates clothes I said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but did you used to be a man?"

"Damn," she replied, "I've spent 20,000 on surgery, have great tits, a nice tight pussy and a body to die for. What gave me away?"

I said, "Your mum's sewed 'KEV' nametags in all of your clothes."
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22615
   Old Thread  #621 28 Nov 2012 at 9.22am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #617
ralph69 has used site within the last 5 mins
View the profile of ralph69 (John)
Contact details supplied to MODs
ralph69
Posts: 9366
   Old Thread  #620 27 Nov 2012 at 9.33pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #615
like it
sik is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of sik (Simon)
Contact details supplied to MODs
sik
Posts: 2391
   Old Thread  #619 27 Nov 2012 at 9.03pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #617
sik is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of sik (Simon)
Contact details supplied to MODs
sik
Posts: 2391
   Old Thread  #618 27 Nov 2012 at 8.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Yoko Ono is going in the jungle to advise on bush tucker survival. The slitty eyed f@cker has managed to live off a dead beatle for the last 30 years
Mr-Bean-Laden is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Mr-Bean-Laden (Andrew)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 1903
   Old Thread  #617 27 Nov 2012 at 8.35pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My son asked me why oysters are Aphrodisiacs.

"Not sure son, maybe because they smell like fannies."

"Ugh, is that what mum's is like?"

"You tell me," I replied, "you were the last one near it."
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #616 27 Nov 2012 at 8.31pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #615
sik is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of sik (Simon)
Contact details supplied to MODs
sik
Posts: 2391
   Old Thread  #615 27 Nov 2012 at 8.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one. The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.The Scouser said, 'I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me. ''Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor.So off home he goes, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He holds it up to his ear and begins to count: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5,' at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.This procedure also works in Middlesbrough, Bolton, parts of Stoke on Trent and anywhere in N.Wales and Sunderland
WaftyCranker is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of WaftyCranker (Ian)
Contact details supplied to MODs
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3440
   Old Thread  #614 27 Nov 2012 at 6.13pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #609
1 of the best in ages that lad !!!!
carpy09 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of carpy09 (Chris)
Contact details supplied to MODs
carpy09
Posts: 11408
   Old Thread  #613 27 Nov 2012 at 6.06pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #609
Page: 134.333333333333 of 176  
  
   Copyright 2002-2019  -  www.CarpForum.co.uk contact : webmaster@carpforum.co.uk