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   Old Thread  #829 8 Jan 2013 at 9.51am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was on my way home and see me dwarf neighbour waiting at the bus stop so I stopped and said jump in.
He said he';d sooner walk.So i done me zip back up on my back pac and carried on walking.
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   Old Thread  #828 6 Jan 2013 at 12.53pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
1 inch - are you taking the piss?

2 inch - I can't even hold it properly

3 inch - never been so unsatisfied in my life

4 inch - I've had bigger

5 inch - good, but not enough

6 inch - about right

8 inch - perfect

10 inch - it's hurting my insides

12 inch - I'm absolutely destroyed

How do you rate your pizza?
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   Old Thread  #827 6 Jan 2013 at 10.59am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, but only one can get into the pearly gates.

St. Peter asks Queen Elizabeth what makes her special enough to enter Heaven. The Queen promptly pulls out a douche bottle and starts cleaning her vagina.

St. Peter then asks Dolly why she thinks she is worthy of entering heaven. In response, Dolly flashes her boobs.

He then proceeds to open the gates, letting Queen Elizabeth in instead of Dolly. When Dolly asks St. Peter why the Queen was let through and not her, Peter replies, "A royal flush beats a wild pair."
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   Old Thread  #826 6 Jan 2013 at 9.27am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #824
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   Old Thread  #825 6 Jan 2013 at 8.46am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My mate just said, "What's your favorite mythical creature?"

I said, "Those happy women in tampax adverts."
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   Old Thread  #824 6 Jan 2013 at 8.45am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
People tell me I don't understand anal sex.

It's not my fault, I just haven't found a woman with a vagina big enough for my arse to fit into yet
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   Old Thread  #823 5 Jan 2013 at 9.57am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #822
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   Old Thread  #822 5 Jan 2013 at 8.58am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
'Phone rings, woman answers.

Pervert with heavy breathing says, 'I bet you have a tight arse, with no hair.'

Woman replies 'Yes, he's watching the football. Who shall I say is calling?'
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   Old Thread  #821 4 Jan 2013 at 9.47pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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And any Newcastle fans a bit peed off they are losing their idol, apparently the club have an offer on for only 3 you can have the letters "stard" added on to your existing shirt.
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   Old Thread  #820 4 Jan 2013 at 2.36pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
So a bloke has a hand transplant.. Surely they should have called it a handjob
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   Old Thread  #819 3 Jan 2013 at 7.20pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to.get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED!

MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),

MUST NOT BEAT ME,

MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,

AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!

ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

...

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray- haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair.

The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!"

Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
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   Old Thread  #818 3 Jan 2013 at 7.03pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #817


Anyway..... Back on track..

Chelsea fans wanting to save money on a Demba Ba replica shirt?

Just cut off the word 'DROG' from the one you wore last season.
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   Old Thread  #816 3 Jan 2013 at 5.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #815
writting pakistani is one thing writting paki is another thing ,so lets kill the story here and write a funny joke.
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   Old Thread  #815 3 Jan 2013 at 2.31pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #814
Chill out,you don't have to be Pakistani to be a c--t,this is a joke tread and as for your post before that,you lost me there .be happy

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   Old Thread  #814 3 Jan 2013 at 12.37pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #788
saying paki **** is not nice is it
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