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   Old Thread  #956 23 Jan 2013 at 7.34pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #955 23 Jan 2013 at 6.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A potential first could happen in this season league cup final,with 2 teams from outside England reaching the final.Swansea from Wales and Bradford from Pakistan.
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   Old Thread  #954 23 Jan 2013 at 6.40pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
People should lay off Lance Armstrong I think what he achieved was amazing.
When i was on drugs i couldn't even find my bike
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   Old Thread  #953 23 Jan 2013 at 6.18pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #952 23 Jan 2013 at 5.44pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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thats the best :D HAHAHAHAH
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   Old Thread  #951 23 Jan 2013 at 5.23pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #950 23 Jan 2013 at 1.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A Canadian guy, American guy, a ugly woman and gorgeous woman are sitting in opposing seats on a train. After some initial introductions of where they're from and where they're going, they settle in to do their own thing and basically ignore each other.

Some time later, the train enters a tunel and all goes black, then suddenly they hear a big slap. As the train exits the tunnel there's the American with the side of his face all red wearing a look of shock.

In the mind of the ugly woman, "That American tried to grope the gorgeous girl and she slapped him!"

In the mind of the gorgeous woman, "That American tried to grope me, but got the ugly woman instead and she slapped him!"

In the mind of the American, "That Canadian tried to grope the gorgeous woman and she tried to slap him but got me instead!"

In the mind of the Canadian, "I hope we go through another tunnel so I can slap that fcuking American again
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   Old Thread  #949 23 Jan 2013 at 1.04pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class, closely observe the worms," said the professor while putting a worm into the water.

The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

"Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms
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   Old Thread  #948 23 Jan 2013 at 1.02pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?”

She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”

“No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”

“It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” she responded.

“I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?”

“I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.”

He said, “Do you have a real grudge?”

“No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.”

“Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?”

“Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.”

“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?”

“Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.”

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?”

“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me!
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   Old Thread  #947 23 Jan 2013 at 12.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #946 23 Jan 2013 at 10.24am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Banta: I am getting married. How would I know if my wife is a virgin?

Santa: Get an Irish virginity test kit.

Banta: What's that?

Santa: Get a can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel.

Banta: What? Are you mad?

Santa: Paint your right ball red and the other blue, as you remove your underwear, if your wife says, 'that's the strangest pair of balls I've ever seen'

Hit her head with the shovel !
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   Old Thread  #945 22 Jan 2013 at 10.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Does anyone know how David Blunkets first Helicopter lesson went the other day?
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   Old Thread  #944 22 Jan 2013 at 7.49pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Cracking lad!!!
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   Old Thread  #943 22 Jan 2013 at 3.26pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My girlfriends' name is Lana.

I love fcuking her backwards.
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   Old Thread  #942 22 Jan 2013 at 3.04pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Fours goodens their sik
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