CarpForum - Fishing Forum
  Already registered? [Log-In]  New user? [Register]

Want 11,000+ anglers a day to see your product or service?  Click HERE to see how
Home Who's Online Member List Gallery Downloads Fish Ins Weather
Rules / Usage Help / FAQs Search Articles The Carp Shop Fishy Forums
  New Posts: 0
   Joke Thread
 [Log-In]  [Register] 
carpy09 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of carpy09 (Chris)
Contact details supplied to MODs
carpy09
Posts: 11876
   Old Thread  #1121 17 Feb 2013 at 3.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1119
carpy09 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of carpy09 (Chris)
Contact details supplied to MODs
carpy09
Posts: 11876
   Old Thread  #1120 17 Feb 2013 at 3.53pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1118
sik is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of sik (Simon)
Contact details supplied to MODs
sik
Posts: 2391
   Old Thread  #1119 17 Feb 2013 at 3.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Santa while traveling in a plane was continuously looking at a woman's legs and saw that she wasn't wearing her panties and beneath her tall waxed legs was a clean shaved pu$$y that was just unbelievable.

Woman: I know what you are looking at.
Santa apologetically, "I am sorry, Ma'm. This would not happen again".
Woman: That's perfectly OK. I know I'm not wearing my panties but one thing you don't know is that my pu$$y can do funny things...

Santa: Like what?
Woman: It can wink.
Santa: Show me how?
The woman lifted her skirt and made her clean shaved pu$$y wink at the Santa.
Santa: Wow! It's amazing.
Woman: It can blow a kiss as well and she made her nice white lips blow a kiss at Santa.
Santa got completely floored by this and was in awe of what he just saw.
Woman who was completely hot and wet and wanted some action said to Santa, "You can come next to my seat and put your fingers in my pu$$y".
Santa: Fcuk, don't tell me it can whistle, too!
sik is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of sik (Simon)
Contact details supplied to MODs
sik
Posts: 2391
   Old Thread  #1118 17 Feb 2013 at 3.45pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
An old man and his wife have gone to bed.

After laying in bed for a few minutes, the old man cut a fart and says, "seven points."

His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"

The old man says, "Touchdown. I'm ahead 7 to nothing."

A few minutes later, the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

After about ten minutes, the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7.

Now starting to get into this, the wife quickly farts again and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

The old man strains really hard, but to no avail -- he can't fart.

So not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has and strains real hard to get out just one more fart.

Straining, the old man tries so hard, he sh1ts the bed.

The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"

The old man replies, "Half-time, switch sides
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22622
   Old Thread  #1117 16 Feb 2013 at 7.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1115
Mr-Bean-Laden is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Mr-Bean-Laden (Andrew)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 1918
   Old Thread  #1116 16 Feb 2013 at 1.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I had the best valentines day ever. I had sex with the most gorgeous fit blonde I have ever seen.

Being the mortuary assistant in Pretoria has its perks.
WaftyCranker is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of WaftyCranker (Ian)
Contact details supplied to MODs
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3441
   Old Thread  #1115 15 Feb 2013 at 8.17am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What's blue and full of haribo?

Kevin Webster's overalls.
WaftyCranker is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of WaftyCranker (Ian)
Contact details supplied to MODs
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3441
   Old Thread  #1114 14 Feb 2013 at 9.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Roses are Red,
Rohypnol is clear,
That's why your mine,
For one night this year.
Doyle is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Doyle (Neil)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Doyle
Posts: 2148
   Old Thread  #1113 14 Feb 2013 at 9.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1112
What did Oscar Pistorius get for Valentine's day?...

20 years.
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #1112 14 Feb 2013 at 7.46pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1111
I bought a valentines card for everyone at our local tourettes society.

It's the thought that c--ts
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #1111 14 Feb 2013 at 7.31pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
New evidence has been found outside the Pistorious
home that completely acquits him of his girlfriends murder.

Footprints
baggiebob is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of baggiebob (Rob)
baggiebob
Posts: 263
   Old Thread  #1110 14 Feb 2013 at 3.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1109
Roses are red
Violets are gorgeous
But don't ever try to surprise Oscar Pistorrius !!!
Carpbinhio is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Carpbinhio (Stuart)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Carpbinhio
Posts: 479
   Old Thread  #1109 14 Feb 2013 at 1.57pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1108
Oscar pestorius was chilling having a few beers when his missus came home to suprise him for valentines day. She kept having a go at him so he shot her! Apparently she accused him of being legless!

Sorry I couldn't resist.
PPPIKER has used site within the last 5 mins
View the profile of PPPIKER (Gareth)
Contact details supplied to MODs
PPPIKER
Posts: 517
   Old Thread  #1108 14 Feb 2013 at 11.32am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1107
Oscar Pistorius has been charged with murder even though he claims it was an accident.
Police spokesman say " He hasn't got a leg to stand on"
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #1107 14 Feb 2013 at 5.15am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1106
Roses are straight,

Violets are twisted,

Bend over love,

You're about to get fisted.


happy valentines day Girls
Page: 102.333333333333 of 176  
  
   Copyright 2002-2019  -  www.CarpForum.co.uk contact : webmaster@carpforum.co.uk