CarpForum - Fishing Forum
  Already registered? [Log-In]  New user? [Register]

Want 11,000+ anglers a day to see your product or service?  Click HERE to see how
Home Who's Online Member List Gallery Downloads Fish Ins Weather
Rules / Usage Help / FAQs Search Articles The Carp Shop Fishy Forums
  New Posts: 0
   Joke Thread
 [Log-In]  [Register] 
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #1161 20 Feb 2013 at 7.02pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was visiting my daughter the other day when i asked if i could borrow a news paper,my "Know it all" daughter sarcastically laughed and said,"this is the 21st century,we don't waste money on news papers.Here you can borrow my laptop."
Well l can tell you now,that fly didn't know what the f--k hit it!.
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #1160 20 Feb 2013 at 2.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1146
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #1159 20 Feb 2013 at 2.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1158
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22622
   Old Thread  #1158 20 Feb 2013 at 1.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What movie do you get if you cross Oscar Pistorius and Mike Tyson?....

Shinless Lisp.
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22622
   Old Thread  #1157 19 Feb 2013 at 4.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I'm not saying my wife was a bit of a slag in her youth..

But when I first met her, she had a higher sperm count than me.
craigboi007 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of craigboi007 (Craig)
craigboi007
Posts: 115
   Old Thread  #1156 19 Feb 2013 at 3.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1155
CraftyCarper is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of CraftyCarper (Peter)
Contact details supplied to MODs
CraftyCarper
Posts: 3583
   Old Thread  #1155 19 Feb 2013 at 3.44pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1154
Oscar pestorius


It must have been dark in that house when he shot her as he said he couldnt see two feet in front of him!!
CraftyCarper is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of CraftyCarper (Peter)
Contact details supplied to MODs
CraftyCarper
Posts: 3583
   Old Thread  #1154 19 Feb 2013 at 3.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1124
Oscar pestorius

Giving a new meaning to taking your Mrs out on Valentines day!!
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22622
   Old Thread  #1153 19 Feb 2013 at 10.10am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Explanation for there being no male agony aunts!

Dear Bill, I am a 42 yr old mother. I left for work but after a mile or so, my car broke down. I had to walk home again, and on arriving home I found my 16 year old babysitter handcuffed to the bed in her school uniform, sucking my husbands cock. I am devastated! Can you help?

Dear Susie, a common cause for this, is dirt in your carburettor. Don't let your fuel drop too low in the tank. Hope this helps.
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22622
   Old Thread  #1152 19 Feb 2013 at 9.29am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Walking through town one day I came across a young boy with a box of newborn puppies at his feet. "Do you want to buy a puppy mister?" He asked "What sort of puppies are they?" I enquired "They're Christian puppies" he answered "That's nice" I answered "But no don't want one." The next day walking through town, this time with my wife, we saw the same boy, so I told my wife to ask him about his special puppies "What sort of puppies are those?" She asked "Atheist puppies" he answered "Wait a minute!" I said "Yesterday you said they were Christian puppies." "I know" he replied "But now their eyes have opened."
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22622
   Old Thread  #1151 19 Feb 2013 at 9.08am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1139
sik is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of sik (Simon)
Contact details supplied to MODs
sik
Posts: 2391
   Old Thread  #1150 19 Feb 2013 at 8.41am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1139
two belters
sik is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of sik (Simon)
Contact details supplied to MODs
sik
Posts: 2391
   Old Thread  #1149 19 Feb 2013 at 7.51am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The bookies hot favorite to bag an Oscar this year?..... Pretoria State Prison
WaftyCranker is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of WaftyCranker (Ian)
Contact details supplied to MODs
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3441
   Old Thread  #1148 19 Feb 2013 at 7.09am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1147
Belter
sik is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of sik (Simon)
Contact details supplied to MODs
sik
Posts: 2391
   Old Thread  #1147 19 Feb 2013 at 6.49am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The Bio teacher draws a huge PENIS on the board and asks 'Does anybody know what this is?
Dirty Harry says 'Oh, it's a penis and you know my dad's got 2 of them?'
The teacher says '2 of them?'
Harry says 'ya! the little one he uses to pee, and the big one to brush mum's teeth.
Page: 99.6666666666667 of 176  
  
   Copyright 2002-2019  -  www.CarpForum.co.uk contact : webmaster@carpforum.co.uk