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   Old Thread  #1155 19 Feb 2013 at 3.44pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1154
Oscar pestorius


It must have been dark in that house when he shot her as he said he couldnt see two feet in front of him!!
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   Old Thread  #1154 19 Feb 2013 at 3.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Oscar pestorius

Giving a new meaning to taking your Mrs out on Valentines day!!
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   Old Thread  #1153 19 Feb 2013 at 10.10am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Explanation for there being no male agony aunts!

Dear Bill, I am a 42 yr old mother. I left for work but after a mile or so, my car broke down. I had to walk home again, and on arriving home I found my 16 year old babysitter handcuffed to the bed in her school uniform, sucking my husbands cock. I am devastated! Can you help?

Dear Susie, a common cause for this, is dirt in your carburettor. Don't let your fuel drop too low in the tank. Hope this helps.
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   Old Thread  #1152 19 Feb 2013 at 9.29am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Walking through town one day I came across a young boy with a box of newborn puppies at his feet. "Do you want to buy a puppy mister?" He asked "What sort of puppies are they?" I enquired "They're Christian puppies" he answered "That's nice" I answered "But no don't want one." The next day walking through town, this time with my wife, we saw the same boy, so I told my wife to ask him about his special puppies "What sort of puppies are those?" She asked "Atheist puppies" he answered "Wait a minute!" I said "Yesterday you said they were Christian puppies." "I know" he replied "But now their eyes have opened."
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   Old Thread  #1151 19 Feb 2013 at 9.08am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1150 19 Feb 2013 at 8.41am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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two belters
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   Old Thread  #1149 19 Feb 2013 at 7.51am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The bookies hot favorite to bag an Oscar this year?..... Pretoria State Prison
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   Old Thread  #1148 19 Feb 2013 at 7.09am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Belter
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   Old Thread  #1147 19 Feb 2013 at 6.49am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The Bio teacher draws a huge PENIS on the board and asks 'Does anybody know what this is?
Dirty Harry says 'Oh, it's a penis and you know my dad's got 2 of them?'
The teacher says '2 of them?'
Harry says 'ya! the little one he uses to pee, and the big one to brush mum's teeth.
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   Old Thread  #1146 19 Feb 2013 at 6.48am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Girl in cinema turns sideways and whispers to her boyfriend.
'The man next to me is masturbating!'
Bf: 'Ignore him.'
Gf: 'I can't.'
Bf: 'Why not?'
Gf: 'He is using my hand
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   Old Thread  #1145 19 Feb 2013 at 6.44am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Donald Duck walked into a chemist & asked for a packet
of condoms.
"Certainly, Sir" said the lady behind the counter, "& shall I
put them on your bill"
"NO WAY!" replied Donald Duck, "What do you think I am,
a D1ckhead
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   Old Thread  #1144 19 Feb 2013 at 6.41am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Having determined that the husband was infertile, a childless couple decided to try
artificial insemination.
When the woman showed up at the clinic, she was told to undress, get up on the
table and place her feet in the stirrups.
She was feeling very comfortable about the whole situation and when the doctor
started dropping his pants, she freaked.
"Wait a second! What the hell is going on here?" she yelled.
"Don't you want to get pregnant?" asked the doctor.
"Well, yes, but…" stammered the woman.
"Well lie back and spread 'em," replied the doctor.
"Were out of the bottled stuff, so you'll just have to settle for what's on tap.
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   Old Thread  #1143 19 Feb 2013 at 6.36am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's
drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some
olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then
he jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows
it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just swallowed the cue ball off my pool table whole!", says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. "He eats everything in sight, the
little b.gger. I'll pay for the cue ball and other stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his
bill and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again and he has his monkey with him. He orders a
drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking
his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up
his @rse, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender
is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks.
"Now what?", responds the bloke.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his @rse, then pulled it out and ate it!", says
the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. "He still eats everything in sight,
but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!
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   Old Thread  #1142 18 Feb 2013 at 9.03pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1141 18 Feb 2013 at 8.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
There's nothing less romantic than wiping cum off your girlfriend's belly after sex.

Except doing it before.
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