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   Old Thread  #1235 3 Mar 2013 at 7.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was sat on a bus coming home and a gorgeous bird next to me started breast feeding her baby. The baby wouldn't take it so she says "Come on, eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man!" About 10 minutes later, the baby's still not feeding so she says again "Eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man" So I said "Listen love, can you make your fukcing mind up, I should've got off 4 stops ago!"
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   Old Thread  #1234 3 Mar 2013 at 1.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1231
3 gooden their Martin
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   Old Thread  #1233 3 Mar 2013 at 1.05pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Everybody seems to be on Katie Price's back at the moment.

I presume that's to stop falling into the large hole at the front.
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   Old Thread  #1232 3 Mar 2013 at 1.03pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I'm not saying my wife is easy to please but when I put my hand in her knickers to finger her, it's like feeding a sugar lump to a horse.
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   Old Thread  #1231 3 Mar 2013 at 12.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.

"They're on sale, only 10 for 24 cans" he replies.

"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a 20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.

"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
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   Old Thread  #1230 3 Mar 2013 at 9.21am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Lesbian seeks similar for relationship. Must like fish fingers and eating out.
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   Old Thread  #1229 2 Mar 2013 at 10.00am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
"If you'd had a tin of shoe polish, you could have blackened her up and got away with it," I said to Oscar Pistorius, laughing.

Then I realised that was in bad taste. Why would he have a tin of shoe polish?
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   Old Thread  #1228 1 Mar 2013 at 2.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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a government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain so that they can see their own doctor!!!!!
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   Old Thread  #1227 1 Mar 2013 at 2.04pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1226 1 Mar 2013 at 11.07am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
So the popes ring will be destroyed later tonight.
Well they say what goes around comes around.
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   Old Thread  #1225 1 Mar 2013 at 8.05am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Was enjoying a pizza with my girlfriend the other night when she suddenly announced she loved it up the arse. Good job i'd already eaten half of it....
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   Old Thread  #1224 28 Feb 2013 at 7.51am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Walking down the street the other night, I witnessed 5 guys jump out of an alleyway and beat up a woman. Once they ran off, I ran over to the victim who was covered in blood and asked her what I should do

"Are you having a fukcing laugh" she screamed

"Sorry" I said "It's just, I've never witnessed anything like this before and I have no idea what to do"

Anyway, the next day I discovered that the poor woman had died of her injuries and I was kicked out of the police force!
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   Old Thread  #1223 28 Feb 2013 at 7.48am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1221
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   Old Thread  #1222 27 Feb 2013 at 10.11pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In a lesbian relationship, who makes the sandwiches?

Neither, they both eat out.
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   Old Thread  #1221 27 Feb 2013 at 8.49pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Just finished a book called "Dying For A Piss".

It's about how Valentine's Day gets celebrated in the Pistorius house.
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