In reply to Post #2610
I'm here all week...
I'm here all week...
In reply to Post #2611
Son- Dad why is my sister called Teresa
Dad- Because you're mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
Son- Thanks Dad
Dad- No problem Alan
🥊🥊
Son- Dad why is my sister called Teresa
Dad- Because you're mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
Son- Thanks Dad
Dad- No problem Alan
🥊🥊
Was late the other day on my way to work. Got stuck behind a tractor as the driver was shouting ‘the end of the world is coming, the end of the world is coming, the end of the world is nigh'. I think it was farmer Geddon.
In reply to Post #2613
Tampax have announced that they are to replace the string with tinsel, but only for the Christmas period.
Tampax have announced that they are to replace the string with tinsel, but only for the Christmas period.
My son said to me ‘what rhymes with orange'. I said ‘it doesn't'.
In reply to Post #2615
In reply to Post #2615
10 Pinter that
What's the most popular owl in the world?
Tea towel
Why do they call pirates, pirates?
Cause they Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: "What have you brought?" He said: "I brought a pair of knickers." They asked: "What has that got to do with Christmas?" He said "They're Carol's."
10 Pinter that
What's the most popular owl in the world?
Tea towel
Why do they call pirates, pirates?
Cause they Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: "What have you brought?" He said: "I brought a pair of knickers." They asked: "What has that got to do with Christmas?" He said "They're Carol's."
Went to the doctors the other day , he told me to take up a hobby that gets me out of the pub ,
So I started smoking again
So I started smoking again
In reply to Post #2618
A warning to all be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and Police are out there checking on people.
Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many beers and then went onto the shots Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my van at the pub and took a taxi home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a taxi they just waved it past.
I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a taxi before and I am not even sure where I got it from..
A warning to all be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and Police are out there checking on people.
Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many beers and then went onto the shots Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my van at the pub and took a taxi home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a taxi they just waved it past.
I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a taxi before and I am not even sure where I got it from..
Skeleton goes into a bar, orders a pint of lager and a mop.
In reply to Post #2619
In reply to Post #2619
Good un that
Reminds me of a lad I know who once pinched a coach and did the same, took all his mates home
Good un that
Reminds me of a lad I know who once pinched a coach and did the same, took all his mates home
In reply to Post #2622
Stranglely enough my mate did the same....
Not the same mate is it, couldn't be, surely?.
Initials of my mate who did that........C.B
Stranglely enough my mate did the same....
Not the same mate is it, couldn't be, surely?.
Initials of my mate who did that........C.B
In reply to Post #2623
No, different initials. Quite a few years ago now. Its the same lad who drive a JCB on a night out through a supermarket window of a “southern holiday” resort. Quite a character, got sent down
No, different initials. Quite a few years ago now. Its the same lad who drive a JCB on a night out through a supermarket window of a “southern holiday” resort. Quite a character, got sent down
In reply to Post #2624
What a lad.
My mate took the bus from the bus station, dropped the lads off at twigg street and as they were getting off asked them for the fare.,...
What a lad.
My mate took the bus from the bus station, dropped the lads off at twigg street and as they were getting off asked them for the fare.,...