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SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1222 27 Feb 2013 at 10.11pm  0  Login    Register
In a lesbian relationship, who makes the sandwiches?

Neither, they both eat out.
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1221 27 Feb 2013 at 8.49pm  0  Login    Register
Just finished a book called "Dying For A Piss".

It's about how Valentine's Day gets celebrated in the Pistorius house.
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1220 27 Feb 2013 at 8.29pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1218
carpy09
Posts: 14117
carpy09
   Old Thread  #1219 27 Feb 2013 at 7.55pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1218
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1218 27 Feb 2013 at 7.17pm  0  Login    Register
I was fingering a fat bird when she said "use 4 fingers, that is why they call me Kit Kat".

So I replied "I thought it was because you're Chunky"
Welshboi
Posts: 240
   Old Thread  #1217 27 Feb 2013 at 6.50pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1212
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1216 27 Feb 2013 at 1.25pm  0  Login    Register
What's blue and kills women?...

A pregnancy testing kit at Oscar Pistorius' house.
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1215 26 Feb 2013 at 9.03pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1201
carpy09
Posts: 14117
carpy09
   Old Thread  #1214 26 Feb 2013 at 9.00pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1212
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1213 26 Feb 2013 at 8.59pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1212
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1212 26 Feb 2013 at 8.11pm  0  Login    Register
"Oh God, I think I'm going to explode any second!" I told my girlfriend."On my tits" she whispered, "do it on my tits""Really? You sure?""Yes! Quickly!! For me""Oh ok then........it's cominnnnng......."Anyway, the moral of the story is - if you've got diarrhoea, it's best to be specific!
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1211 26 Feb 2013 at 8.08pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1207
Good un
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1210 26 Feb 2013 at 7.40pm  0  Login    Register
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon.

Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8pm.

As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied.

He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying b@stard! You've been playing golf!
carpy09
Posts: 14117
carpy09
   Old Thread  #1209 26 Feb 2013 at 6.15pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1206
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1208 26 Feb 2013 at 6.09pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1207
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