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Walking down the street the other night, I witnessed 5 guys jump out of an alleyway and beat up a woman. Once they ran off, I ran over to the victim who was covered in blood and asked her what I should do
"Are you having a fukcing laugh" she screamed
"Sorry" I said "It's just, I've never witnessed anything like this before and I have no idea what to do"
Anyway, the next day I discovered that the poor woman had died of her injuries and I was kicked out of the police force!
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In reply to Post #1221
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In a lesbian relationship, who makes the sandwiches?
Neither, they both eat out.
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Just finished a book called "Dying For A Piss".
It's about how Valentine's Day gets celebrated in the Pistorius house.
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In reply to Post #1218
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In reply to Post #1218
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I was fingering a fat bird when she said "use 4 fingers, that is why they call me Kit Kat".
So I replied "I thought it was because you're Chunky"
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In reply to Post #1212
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What's blue and kills women?...
A pregnancy testing kit at Oscar Pistorius' house.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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In reply to Post #1201
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In reply to Post #1212
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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In reply to Post #1212
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"Oh God, I think I'm going to explode any second!" I told my girlfriend."On my tits" she whispered, "do it on my tits""Really? You sure?""Yes! Quickly!! For me""Oh ok then........it's cominnnnng......."Anyway, the moral of the story is - if you've got diarrhoea, it's best to be specific!
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In reply to Post #1207
Good un
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon.
Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8pm.
As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied.
He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying b@stard! You've been playing golf!
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